


Buyer's Remorse

by heavnofhell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:05:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9175771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavnofhell/pseuds/heavnofhell
Summary: A day of Christmas shopping is never normal with an archangel in tow...





	

“You don’t need to apologize - this was my fault.” 

“I didn’t…”

“…”

“… _Oh_.” 

“ _Well_?” 

“I did nothing wrong.” 

“ _Nothing wrong_? **_Nothing wrong_**?? Did you black out? _Lost time_? How in the hell -” 

“ _Dean_! Can you just go get the car, please?” 

“Fine. Don’t move from this spot, or I’m leaving your asses.” 

“Well, he seems a tad worked up.” 

“Lucifer… you _know_ why he’s _worked up_.” 

“That woman had a golden band on her left hand - you told me that’s a symbol of wedlock, didn’t you?” 

“That doesn’t mean you can just tell her that Dean wants to sleep with her!” 

“I was simply warning her of his untoward intentions.” 

“She almost called security.”

“I could’ve handled them.”

“Are you suggesting that you would smite non-lethal humans in a public mall?” 

“…No.” 

“I didn’t think so.” 

“Just put them to sleep for a few weeks…”

“Lucifer!” 

“What, Sam? I did what you asked. I stayed by your side, didn’t I?”

“Oh, sure… until you decided to threaten Santa Claus!” 

“ _Who_?”

“The fat man in the velour sweat suit?” 

“That _charlatan_ making blatantly insincere agreements with countless young humans? _Someone_ had to hold him accountable for his injustices.” 

“Lucifer, he’s Santa! _That’s_ what he does! He tells children they’ll get what they want if they’re good, and since good and bad are subjective, there’s no way to guarantee they’ll get what they want anyway. It’s just.. it’s part of Christmas.” 

“Well… Christmas is a dishonest celebration.” 

“Lucifer…”

“Okay, _yes_ , I know. I disappointed you. I’m sorry, Sam. I really am.” 

“Luce, no. Look - I shouldn’t have waited so long to go shopping this year. It was crazy in there, and even Dean lost his cool a few times.”

“Even so, Dean didn’t make a boy cry.” 

“Okay, well that kid was like 15, and he was being a total jackass. That was actually pretty funny.”

“… It was, wasn’t it?” 

“Definitely. Hey, come here, Luce. Listen - I’m not mad. It’s just… remember what we talked about? If you don’t understand something, or you have questions -”

“Come to you.” 

“Yes, _exactly_. Humans do some pretty jacked up things, and half of it doesn’t even make sense to me. So it’s fine if you feel a little frustrated sometimes.” 

“Good. Because I have a lot of questions after today.” 

“And that’s good. Here comes Dean, now. We’ll go home and I’ll answer all of your questions and we won’t go out in public for at least a week, okay?”

“ _Hallelujah_.” 


End file.
